I may never go to IKEA again....at least not with my kids

***WARNING!!*** What follows is one of I'm sure many to come, vent posts. This particular one may cause increased blood pressure and heart palpitations.

Little girl, little girl, little girl for sale!!!! Heck, after my day last Tuesday with her, I'd GIVE her away!

The grannies(my mom and aunt) decided that last Tuesday was IKEA day. It starts with them calling me on the way there to tell me they're gonna be late. So I arrive at 10, and I'm already 5th in line for the "small land" playplace they have there...and because everyone in Utah has 4-5 kids, it filled up and mine didn't get in.....1st breakdown of the day for the kids. So I head into the downstairs part for some things I need to get for a wedding present. Jared's breakdown continues with him claiming he's "too tired to walk" so I need to carry him, which I don't, and that "he's HUNGRY". Of course he is, he's ALWAYS hungry....I swear to you the kid has a tapeworm! Throughout the whining he proceeds to climb up on every display or low shelf we pass, with me asking him to get down and stop. Then he picks the one shelf that isn't attached correctly and it CRASHES (loudly) the 4 inches to the floor. He screams, runs, and tries to hide while the IKEA workers that are right there come make sure he's okay. He's fine, just rattled and embarrassed. At least he finally quit climbing on stuff.

So then we head back to the front while I call the grannies to see if they've arrived....yes, they are upstairs, looking for us. So I head up, and find one of them. My mom has gone off on her own looking for us. So we wait for her to traverse the maze of the store and come back to where we are. We had the sense to wait in one spot for her. By this time, I should've just gone home. The kids were done. But no, I decide to endure. About 10 minutes later, Jared went up to an emergency exit door, and tried to push it open.

IKEA has a really nice and loud alarm system if you try and escape out of one of those emergency exits.

After apologizing to the worker for the alarm, some more enduring, and bribing Jared to shut it about how he's starving with an alarm clock(his choice!?!), we get to the food. Goes okay, although after 1 1/2 meatballs Jared announces he's full and wants to go. Wha? What happened to starving? We make him sit there while we finish eating, and my mom finally cajoles him to eat some more meatballs....of course she had to feed them to him while nearly begging him to eat them. He kept pushing on the table and I nearly got our 2 meals in my lap twice. Normally we sit them in the little "kids eating area", but it was full when we got there...again, everyone has 4-5 kids...

Is it over yet you ask.....oh no......has your heart rate increased yet?

We finish eating, and head downstairs. I've already been there, but I decide to see if the kids act better after some nourishment. Nope, just more energy to burn off. Nicole at this point is climbing on a display to apparently host a cooking segment, and I'm being ignored as I tell her to get off five times. At this point, I'm done, so I tell my mom that we are going to just head for the check-out. Nicole then LOSES it and throws herself screaming on the floor. At this point I will remind you that she's 5 1/2! I pick her up, tell her to stop, she screams and goes down again....we repeat the scenario another two times....at which point I take away the 49 cent stuffed alligator that she's chosen to buy and tell her that her behavior no longer warrants a prize, just a quick trip out of the store. I resist the urge to pull her arm out of it's socket and beat her with it, but quickly look for the "short-cut" signs pointing me to the checkout, dragging her screaming at the top of her lungs with me pushing Ellie in the cart.....my mom is trying to keep up with Jared who is wondering what in the heck is going on. Everyone in the store is wondering what the heck is going on, I'm sure thinking I'm trying to kidnap the child, but then realizing that no, why would anyone try to kidnap a child that acts like that?!

As we reach the checkout, she yells at me, telling me she doesn't love me anymore....thanks Nicole, I'm so glad you just told all of IKEA that precious sentiment.

I'm guessing that all the screaming by now has caused her blood pressure to rise(mine certainly was), because at the checkout she starts in with a NOSEBLEED! Fantastic! Good thing grandmommy had some tissue.

By the time I was walking out of the store I wanted to cry. I didn't though, because I was still too stinking mad at her for acting like that. I told her it may be a very, very long time before I take her back to IKEA.....if I ever want to go back.....too many bad memories now....and the embarrassment....ugh!

Bless you for reading my vent. I only hope and pray that today is better, and that you have a good day!

This story should make ANYONE feel better about their child's behavior!